Solo

It takes a village to make an athlete. I really believe that I have been able to get to the level I am because I’ve not only had wonderful training partners, but also a greater community of women supporting me. Most of those women don’t know they’re helping me, but they are.

Lately I’ve felt the need, the pull, to run more days alone. I’m not sad, upset or depressed, but I crave solo miles with just myself and a podcast. It’s nothing personal nor do I have a problem with anyone, it’s just something I need for me right now.

I can feel my body and mind shifting. They are searching for a different stimulus. They are ready for a rest and then a change in direction. I find myself more willing to listen these days, rather than fight it. Being honest, if I didn’t qualify for the Olympic Trials I would not be doing a marathon right now. I would not be training for one. I was ready to do something else. The luxury of being a hobby runner means I can do that. My paycheck, my peace of mind, is not dependent on fast marathon times. I am blessed to be able to do what I want and run what excites me.

Training for another marathon this time had moments of excitement. I’m glad I tried, I’m glad I gave it my best effort, though my body was ready for me to do something else. Some days the only thing keeping me excited was reading about other women who qualified. It was feeling a sense of sisterhood and that I was contributing to women’s sports. That fuels me today.

This last month has been about having fun logging miles, doing my best in workouts with what I’ve got and accepting that running a marathon in Atlanta will mostly be a celebration of having got there. My training cycle was mediocre, but it was fun. My body will hold up and I will run the race with a smile. My teammates are fit, they will shine and I will smile watching them. My best effort on the day will be what it is, the joy was getting there. I will smile when I race because I got there. I will smile because I am watching the best women in the country. I will smile because this training has shown me I am capable of so much more than I thought. 

And I can only keep growing.

See you in Atlanta.